Do You Really?

By Lisa Van Wyk  ·  January 14th, 2014  ·  Posted in Business, Family  · 

what do you really wantIt was a jaw dropping ice bowl this morning in my Wisconsin Wonderland.  MINUS 22 degrees and dropping.  Add the wind factor, -44 F, and I think we were pushing Mars temperatures.  School was cancelled, and I spent the morning at home, prepping breakfast for my son, Peter, so he didn’t wake up to an empty house, while my daughter, Niki, camped out over a girlfriends’ home.

As the house filled with the aura of sautéed broccoli, scrambled eggs, and coffee, I  couldn’t help but snicker over Peter’s verbal escapades in family conversations recently.  Every time someone would make a statement, no matter how trivial or serious, he would follow up with a question, “Do you really?”

“I’m cold,” I’d remark.  “Are you really?” Peter would ask, subtlety.

“Those players were unbelievable,” I’d say excitedly, reflecting on a girls basketball game one morning.  “Or are they?” Pete would chime in.

“Peter, playing too much video games are bad for you,” I’d argue.  “Or is it?” he’d say.

Walking out of the room, I’d chirp, “I have to go to the bathroom.”   And he’d quip, “Do you really?”

During this cold morning, as I was cracking our eggs, I couldn’t help but giggle at Pete’s funny expression, “Do you really?”

Even with my joyful memories, I was a little on edge.   I needed to make a final decision on whether I was going to Mexico with my Hunter.  I was just having a hard time choosing whether to go or stay home with the kids.

I realized at this point how profound Peter’s question, “Do You Really?” was.  So I decided to use his strategy, and probe my emotions and thoughts more carefully, and ask myself, “Do I really?”

Do I really want to go to Mexico?  Do I really want to leave the kids for days?  Do I really want to miss work when I have so much to do?  Do I really want to travel so far and take a chance with both of us gone?  Do I really want to miss one of Niki’s basketball games?   Do I really want to go when the majority of the time he will be in work meetings?  Do I really need to fly 2,000 miles to spend time with my husband?  Every question filled my pores with a resounding, “NO!”  I don’t really want to go.

breathe do i really want it

What a powerful exercise to use when we are trying to make an important decision, such as what career path to follow, if you should go into business with someone, whether to hire someone, or testing our commitment to our health, or sport.

Do I really want to be a professional singer and spend time apart from my family traveling on tour?  Do I really want to hire the most experienced interviewee even though he’s obviously pompous?  Do I really want to be a gym instructor when I only workout once a week?  Do I really believe God can bring good from bad, when I constantly complain and question my life?

In the end, our actions and responses to these questions determine how we really feel and what we truly believe. The farther down we dig into our lives, the more aware we become of our own being.  The more aware, the more effective our decision making and actions.  In the end, when we’ve deliberated over the details, our choices will be more sound and our follow through more confident.

As Pete and I sat down for breakfast, I thanked him for being so silly and praised him for how profound his goofy questions really were!  I walked him through my “DYR” checklist, and confident I wasn’t going to Mexico, I asked Pete,  “Do I really have to go to Mexico to spend time with dad?”

With his head down and his mouth full of a half eaten cheesy scrambled egg, Pete responded, “Yeah, but there’s no hunting in Mexico.”

Oh my word!  Slap me on the head silly, Peter’s brilliant!

He’s right.  My husband’s time will not be consumed by hunting, and Hunter and I would actually have more freedom to focus on each other!

But still….he will be working the majority of the time as well.  I was on the brink of loss again!

As I reviewed my charade of emotions and logical conclusion with my Hunter during our morning phone call, I asked him if he wanted me to go. He pulled my heart strings, as he lovingly and adamantly responded, “Yes, I really want you to come with me.”

Oy vay.  I guess now I’m really going to Mexico.



Comments are closed.