Original November 26, 2013
Her words hung in the air, like fog, clouding my senses. I wasn’t sure if I heard her correctly. “Wh
at did you say?” I asked. Her voice was like maple syrup, drawing me in. Sweet, sincere, innocent, and loving. Honestly, at times, it made me sick. No one could be so humble, so perfect. But here she was, one of my best friends and confidants of all things sacred. The perfect side of my imperfectness. And I was good with that. She made me better.
“I promised her I wouldn’t work with you anymore,” Red said. Her words came through the phone line like a vat of poison. I couldn’t process it.
“What?” I was speechless. She hit me like carbon monoxide. I was dead before I knew it. Red went on. “She made me promise. I don’t know what’s right or wrong and I’m depending on her, my leader, my church, that if I do what they say, God will honor me in that.”
How could every word sound so right, yet feel so wrong? Wrong – not to work with me? Then there must be something wrong with me, with what I’m doing?! A thought that consumed me. A thought that amongst others, spiraled me into a deep, dark depression for over a year. Red wasn’t the only one. There were more. Others. More hurts, more words, more confusion, and more sadness. How could helping others be so wrong? It was my question in the middle of my dry, quiet, desert.
In the end, it was my depression that would, ironically, save my life. It was there, while I was basking in my darkness, that I would discover the meaning of God’s grace. The sound of God’s Life giving Light overpowered all my senses and sang louder than my thoughts. When you’re swallowed up in darkness, it’s hard to miss His light. It was here where the forgiveness I received by Christ’s sacrifice intersected with the power of God’s love: I discovered Grace. Grace, so small, so elemental, yet more powerful than a skyscraper of Sodium in a sea of water. Grace gave me new life as I discovered:
I was under the grace of God, because God is always with me.
Every time I was criticized, God uplifted me. Every time I was belittled, God gave me strength. Every time I was questioned, God gave me answers. And every time I was abandoned, God stayed. This was God’s grace in action.
When Christ told us to “go,” He specifically told us to REMEMBER, He would be with us forever (Matthew 28:20). So why fear the future?Regardless of what others may think and regardless of their choices, I always fall under the grace of God, and this give me power to live out my purpose.
I was living by the grace of God, because God lives in me, and I in Him.
John MacArthur stated, “Grace is not merely unmerited favor; it is favor bestowed on sinners who deserve wrath. Showing kindness to a stranger is “unmerited favor”; doing good to one’s enemies is more the spirit of grace (Luke 6:27-36).” Every time I wanted to see my friend as enemies, God continually reminded me, that I was to treat them with even more love and give them even more forgiveness than ever.
I was led by the Grace of God, because God works good in all things.
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Therefore, if I’ve been called of God to fulfill His purpose, and I follow His leading, How could that be wrong? Well, it can’t! I don’t need to take on others’ insecurities, fears, and faults when God has already released me of mine.
This is God’s grace, that in spite of me, God can and will bring about good; because of me, God can and will bring about good; and with me, God can and will bring about good.
Even without me, God can and will bring about good, but He gives us the opportunity and even had a plan for us to do good. Wouldn’t it be better and make life more meaningful if we actually walked in our God-given purpose?
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).
I’m His. There’s no denying that. So how can I ever go wrong? Despite my imperfections, God continues to remind me, that I’m perfect in Him.
I don’t have to be perfect when I serve a perfect God.
I have so much to be thankful for this year, and God’s grace if the first of many, but there are three I will share this year with you. I was so excited to do so, because as the cold days creep in this Thanksgiving, His grace even makes my winter feel like summer.
God’s grace pulled me out of my depression and gave me a firm foundation to walk on. It was God’s grace that gave me a new vision, confidence to continue, and a fire to light my path. And that’s why I can say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for the Grace of God that Lights my way.
It is my prayer that you too would “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18).
What are you thankful for this year?
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